The Misfits

Wow, the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of events. I sent my son to first grade and the other 3 of my kids to their last year of pre-school, threw a baby shower for a girlfriend, had a fundraiser with my neighbor for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, went on a whitewater rafting trip with the husband....and am now getting ready for a Tupperware party tomorrow night and then a trip up to NY for my next boutique show, and a consignment sale which I'm volunteering in a few nights later. When in the hell am I going to get to my laundry!? I might just have to buy us all some new underwear this week...

Anyway, let's talk about this Whitewater rafting trip. I got the trip for Dave two Christmas' ago. With the crazy schedules (see above and multiply that by 2 years), we finally were able to line up sitters (the in-laws) and plan the trip in August. Then came Hurricane Irene. So much for our trip that weekend. It was re-scheduled for this past Saturday....the day that fall decided to give us a little taste of what we were in for. Normally I'd be excited; making chili and sipping on hot apple cider. This day, I was freezing my ass off in 60 degree weather, putting my watershoe clad foot into what felt like an ice luge. Instead of glorious sun beating down on us through the 5 hour trip on the water, tanning our faces and bronzing our bodies as I initially envisioned it going down while purchasing this gift, I was suited up from head to toe in a wetsuit, that when put on, made me feel like the kid from "A Christmas Story", when he's in his snow suit and can't put his arms down. It was an overall-style wetsuit, topped with a wetsuit jacket, that when zipped up, looked fresh out of Janet Jacksons 80's videos with the big ass shoulder pads in them. But then out steps Dave from the changing room and it was almost worth the cold weather to see him in this getup. Let's just say we're glad we were married because this is not a look you want to sport, especially if you are a few lbs overweight and/or single.
Anyhoo...we look around at the rafting place. There is a huge firepit in the center of it all, for those waiting to go on there trip to stay warm. I grabbed a hot cocoa and went over there. Tons of guys and girls our age and a little bit younger. There were some High School guys who were shirtless and in swimsuits. This was the look I would expect for an adventure of this sort had it been 90 degrees. They were all flexing their muscles, but I have a strong feeling that it was because they were secretly FREEZING and needed to keep all body parts moving and flexing. I had body parts under mounds of wetsuit material that could cut glass....I couldn't imagine being naked. Dumb boys.
So, as we glance around, we notice an older couple in the corner. Probably 70's...how cute, but we joked that we'd probably get stuck with them and be leisurely paddling away from the rapids while we talk about how we share the same type of arthritis medications.
20 minutes later, we're all heading to the Safety Orientation, where they put us in our boat groupings. Sure enough, grandma and grandpa arthritis are paired with us, as well as a very cute couple, Juan and Dan, who are celebrating Juans 25th birthday. So, here we are...just the 6 of us. In comparison to all the other boat groupings, we are, for sure, the Misfits.

12 miles down the river was the trip. Dan and I get in the front of the boat, arthritis couple gets in the middle and Juan sits next to Dave, who is the captain of the misfit raft. We learn, from Safety Orientation, that we might see snakes (including rattlesnakes, to which Dan and I both gasp), bears, or fat, hairy spiders. Could this trip get any better?

So, off we start paddling. Grandpa is sitting behind me, and Dave is yelling commands, "Left side forward", to which grandpa is hitting me with his paddle because, OH, did I forget to tell you? He has to take out his hearing aid in the boat, so he is COMPLETELY deaf, and his *girlfriend* (who has a bad knee and is basically laying out in the boat) says we'll have to sign to him! Ooookay. A waterfall is coming up, so I turn and do the sign from the song "Itsy bitsy spider"...(the part with the "down came the rain") He seems to get it. Dave, Juan, Dan and I start paddling. The other 2 cruise along.

We are going around rocks and level 3 rapids (6 foot drops)...it was fun. Dan squealed louder than I did, most especially when he had a cricket on him (but truth be told, if it had been on me, I'd probably have jumped in the water) Grandma arthritis was not loving it and complained a lot to grandpa, who couldn't hear any of it, but the group gets along well and we commiserate at the chill factor in the air, as the sun that poked its head out in the morning, was now hiding behind the clouds, making it VERY chilly. So, I am in the front of the left side of the boat and my buddy Dan, grandma arthritis and Juan are all on the right side of the boat. Despite Daves yelling for "right side paddle", we are always turning to the right because they aren't paddling hard enough, putting me right smack dab in the face of the drop, thus the huge splash hits me square on, each and every time. I am looking like a chinchilla gone through a car wash. I don't know exactly what that might look like, but I'm thinking not good. Fast forward through the trip and when we get out at the end of hour #5, Dave unzips his wetsuit and his shirt is dry. However, this Chinchilla takes a long time to dry. Thank goodness Dave had the good idea to bring a towel for us to dry off with. If only it hadn't been in the raft and was, if possible, wetter than I was.

Luckily, we get back to the facility, I FINALLY pee after 5 hours (NO WAY was I undoing my entire wetsuit, OR chancing peeing in the facilitree's during our 15 minute lunch due to the the possibility of snake, bear, or my personal favorite hairy spider. I'd be running back towards water with my damn wetsuit at my ankles...I envisioned how it would play out and it just wasn't pretty. It was worth 5 hours of 'holding it' to avoid that situation.

But, all in all, it was a fun day. Something we would do again for sure. While I'm definitely envisioning a June timeframe, and 4 of our friends making the trip with us, Dave suggests to everyone that we come back for a reunion in a year from now. I can only hope Grandpa arthritis didn't have his hearing aid back in just yet.....