Lord of the Flies

Menopause is the WORST.  And, no, while I might be 36 and living with arthritis, *I* am not going through menopause yet...my mom is.  (And has been for what feels like 26 years).  She and my dad were recently in town for the twins birthday.  We prepared her room as we normally do...adding a big stand up fan, and lowering the AC a few degrees to help her hot flashes.  So what if the kids have to wear parkas and have icicles at the tips of their noses?  Grandmas happy.  And if grandmas happy, we all are freezing.

Anyway, the day after the party, there was a bit of a breeze, so my mother and I had the following conversation.

Mom: "It's a gorgeous day and the kids need fresh air in the house. The best source of air is from your kitchen window above the sink"

Me:  "But there aren't screens in that window, and the kids can run outside if they want fresh outdoor air"

Mom: " But, it feels so good".

End of "conversation".

My mom re-opens the kitchen sink window that I had just closed.  Why do I bother? Even my kids say to her, "Grandma...you are mommy's mom, so you're in charge of her, right?"  Oi.

In fly Moe, Larry and Curly.  Our first 3 visitors.  All within 32 seconds.  If only they were vampires and I could rescind their invitation that my mom had just thrown out to all the flies of the land when she opened the screen-less window.

Within an hour, there was David Jr, John-John, Arthur, Max and Troy. 

If you haven't guessed, all flies are male in my mind.

So,  finally, I overrule (with the help of my dad) and shut that window, not before Leo and Brad fly in. Mind you, I have about 35 windows in my house total...and the others are all open...the screen-less one just happened to be the BEST.

Fast forward 2 days...my parents are gone, but our "friends" are still here.  This morning Dave and I were awoken, not by the kids for once, but one of the flies!  (It was too early to name names).   This had me thinking...do flies even sleep???  I'm going to have to google that.

I shower, and come downstairs...my husband, per his sticky note- for those of you have read my earlier blog, has my tea made for me and sitting on the counter, but either Moe or Larry were sitting on the cup, already drinking it.  Clearly the fly needs caffeine more than I do, in order to buzz around my head all day.  I know it must be tiring.  I'm tired after walking down to get my mail each afternoon.

After breakfast is served, I sit to check my email.  John-John perches himself on top of the screen and I think Leo keep flying around my head.  Friggin menopause, I mumble.

I've discussed with my husband that if my mom comes back, we'll be adding "insert window screens" to our preparation for her arrival.  While it's been "fun" having these guys around, my days as Lord of the flies are numbered, hopefully sooner than later, as I spot Curly on the floor by the window.  Finally a sleeping fly! 1 down, 9 to go...